Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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