My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my poor anus
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
