mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
