Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
