I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
