walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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