You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
