Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You are a genius and a whore.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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