Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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