do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
