so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
