Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
