You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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