I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh god the rape fog is back!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
