We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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