spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I cut my penus on the lid.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
