There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
