i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
