i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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