I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
