so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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