I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
