my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
