Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize