I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
