I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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