Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
