It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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