My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize