Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
