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I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
