I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
not ubering you a puppy
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
