we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
