I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
