She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
