Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Still dying that you shit outside
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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