if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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