Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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