I accidentally had phone sex last night
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
