how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
