just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
