You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
