He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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