we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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