Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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