you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
