She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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