She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
