You made me cry and you don't even care
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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