I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
