we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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