Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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