you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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