She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
