so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize