Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize