she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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