No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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