I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize