HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
