i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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