I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
