i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Randomize
