She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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